thought i'd post...

[drugenduced]

no one has posted in this one for a long time so i figured i would.

*sigh*


i still think about kurt every once in a while. while i was at ah some of the staff that were hired were close to my age so we'd talk about music and all this stuff. a couple of them liked nirvana...it was their favorite band or whatever...all of them would say "how do you think he died?" or "do you think he's dead?"
i really don't like thinking about that. i've always tried to push it away. i hate it when people say that cuz usually when they do...i've just gotten to the point where i could push it out of my head.

do you know what? a while back when i was all suicidal and stuff...i wrote out what i wanted to happen to my stuff. i left my journals and stuff to my brother john cuz he doesn't understand me, my teddy bear to my sister, and all my kurt cobain/nirvana stuff to emma. i even put your address to mail it to. it was kinda crazy when i read that.
i've been going through my old journals...i was really angry. geez. i was such an angry person. maybe someday i'll post some of the things i wrote.
a lot of my old journals had pictures of kurt throughout it or lyrics from nirvana or something.
i wanna get back into how i used to dress...grunge-y. but i can't. i'm going to the alternative school where shane (the head dude) makes people get haircuts and stuff...you gotta dress decent.
someday i will.

i'm glad i'm not as into kurt as i was before. i think that was one thing that kept me depressed. i'm not blaming there...i just think that might have been a factor. his music still means a lot to mean. a lot. when i hear it i just...it's like taking a pain pill. it makes it better and i can sometimes forget where i am and how i feel.

but i don't know...i just figured i'd post in this section since no one has for a while.
sorry...i kinda went on a ramble.

[emma]

yeah i wish this section was a little busier, thanks for posting sweets, i read your post. it's weird thinking about when i first discovered kurt-cobain.com and the forum and everything, i listened to nirvana constantly.. then it kinda waned, and people talk about teeny-bopper type nirvana fans who are 12-13 but that's the age i was when i was listening to nirvana the most. i don't know if that puts me into the stereotype or not and i don't much care because i needed the music at that age and it was there and i found great pleasure in it. i'm still very much a big nirvana fan and i would defend the band and each of its members and the music they created to the nth degree... i guess the stuff you need the most at one time of your life won't ALWAYS be what you need the most. you find other things. you have to or else you become closed up and conservative to new influences. i mean, look at kurt's tastes, they changed, he wouldn't even ADMIT to listening to half the bands he liked when he was a kid.

[drugenduced]

wow this uhh...part of the forum is dead.

[Insane Karmality]

yea it stays that way all the time.... its very sad